World War Three

First of all the title of this episode is truly stupid. It doesn't make sense. There is no (spoilers) world war.  Why they decided to name it this is just dumb.
This one picks up where the last episode left off. The Slitheen are attempting pathetically to neutralize the doctor.  (Spoilers...It doesn't work.).  The Doctor ends up turning the tables on them.
The CGI here is laughable, like something out of an 80's music video.
So all the good guys end up getting away and Harriet Jones shows off what could be described as leadership skills. I'm not sure what to call them exactly because I was too distracted by the cartoon villains running across the screen.
So then the Slitheen blame everything on The Doctor and of course the stupid humans believe him (Never mind the fact that these guys are from UNIT and should know the Doctor...Where is Kate Stewart when you need her?).
The Slitheen are back in their human outfits and everyone is buying the entire rouse including the part when the UNIT troops are told to shoot the doctor on site. And then there are some more fart jokes followed by the Slitheen wanting to be "naked" so they can rejoice in their magnificent bodies (Arrgh!). Then the female Slitheen tells Rose and Harriet Jones that she wants to find them so she can kiss them with her big green lips.
Yes this is getting really sick.
Then one of the male Slitheen says they can smell an "Old girl" (Harriet...oh for Pete's sake). Just as this is getting unbearably bad. The doctor breaks in for some reason and squirts the bad guys with a fire extinguisher and this works for some reason.
So then the Slitheen corner them in the Cabinet Room at Number 10.  The doctor tries to blow them up with his sonic screw driver and a bottle of brandy (sigh this is dumb) and the bad guys back down.  The Slitheen point out that The Doctor is not human, but The Doctor asks what the Slitheen are doing. Here we learn that Slitheen is their family name, not species name.  Then one of them grows a brain and points out that you can't kill them with a bottle of brandy.
Now (as if this couldn't get dumber), the doctor pushes a button and locks them into a metal box which the bad guys can't get into (but, as Rose points out, they can't escape from either).
Now we jump to a reporter's commentary who is pointing out that weird people are showing up at Number 10 and no one knows why. Inside the building we are greeted with another fart joke.
New Slitheens (if that is their names too), are being checked into Number 10 and in some cases the human suits are being hung on hangers until the monsters are done using the Bathroom. (I can't believe I'm typing this).
So now we go to Mickey's house where he and Jackie Tyler are making up (remember they've been fighting for a year) and talking about the threat of the Slitheen. Mikey (who is clearly an expert on everything) says that this is what the doctor does.
Okay, back to the Cabinet Room.
After a lot of banter, The Doctor establishes that Harriet Jones is a name he's heard of, but can't place. Harriet just says that she's always been a back bencher.
The Doctor and Harriet start to try to figure out what the Slitheen are up to and Rose gets a picture text from Mickey of them trying to kill the Slitheen.
Then Doctor calls him Mickey the Idiot and tells him to go to his computer and look up a secret alien website.  Suddenly Mickey the Idiot is a hacker? Go figure.
Now Jackie Tyler decides to chew the doctor out for what The Doctor has done with her life and asks if her daughter is safe. Nope, The Doctor can't promise she is.
Mickey gets into the website and there he finds a transmission from a Slitheen ship in the North Sea.
So then, someone rings Mickey's door bell (at 3am) and he tells her to answer it and she does? How dumb are they? and SURPRISE! Its the Slitheen who proceeds to take off his human suit and get ready to attack them.
Rose, the Doctor, and Harriet are listening to their on the phone.
The three of them start to brainstorm as to how to save Jackie and Mickey.  After Harriet makes fart jokes and apologizes for it, they figure out that the bad fart smell they have is calcium and the Doctor figures out how to kill them.  Jackie finds something with Vinegar in the kitchen, the naked slither bursts in, Jackie throws the contents of a jar of pickled onions which causes the Slitheen to explode into green goo.
The other Slitheen "feel" his death.
They do a TV announcement saying that there are weapons of destruction around the planet and that Earth has to strike "first" so that they can survive.  He says that Planet Earth is at war (I'm guessing that this is why its called "World War Three" Ho hum).  The doctor decides that the riots caused by all this will actually cause a world war. He talks to the Slitheen outside the door and they reveal that this is all being done for profit so they can sell radio active chunks to the highest bidder (sigh).
The Doctor says he's going to stop them and they laugh. Apparently these guys haven't heard of The Doctor.
We go to another reporter who transitions the show to the United Nations building in New York City. The Security Council is making a decision as to if they should release the codes so the aliens can be fired upon.  (Somehow I doubt that everyone at the UN would be buying all of this).
More fart jokes.
We transition to the Prime minister's office where they are waiting for the codes.
The Doctor says that there is a why out, but he can't guarantee Rose's safety. If he does nothing, then everyone dies. That's just what this episode needs: more emotionalism (groan).  "I can save the world, but lose you," the doctor says.
Harriet Jones points out that she is the elected official in the room and orders the Doctor to do whatever he needs to do.
Next we go to the Slitheen who have decided to be (naked) sigh.
Meanwhile, at The Doctor's Command Mickey hacks the Royal Navy's website. Of course in a time of war the websites aren't being monitored at all.
Then Jackie says to Mickey, "I could stop you."
Mickey says, "Do it then."
So Mickey then makes the weapons go boom...
Meanwhile Rose suggests that the three of them trapped in the cabinet room stand under a door frame.
Then the UN council votes to release the codes.
Mickey (who is apparently a genius) actually stops the Navy from intercepting the missiles.

Could this get more ridiculous?

So then all the naked Slitheen get interrupted by a cop who just says "Sorry" and runs away.  The Slitheen then struggle to get into their people suits.  The cop then goes out side and shoots a gun and says "everybody run."
Then the Slitheen are destroyed by a the missile and the Doctor, Harriet, and Rose survive in the doorway.
Harriet Jones then steps forward and tells the cop to tell the UN to stand down.  She runs off into the streets yelling, "The Earth is safe."
The Doctor remembers that Harriet Jones becomes Prime Minister and leads the UK into its Golden Age.

Rose and Jackie Hug and The Doctor runs into his Tardis.
Jackie is upset when he sees Harriet "taking credit."
Jackie points out that Rose is infatuated with The Doctor. She says she wants to make Shepherd's Pie so that she can find out about the life they lead.

The Doctor calls and says he will be a couple of hours and then they could go.  He cancels the Slitheens message so no one else will see it and do something bad. The doctor says that he won't stay to eat with Jackie and Rose.  He sees a Plasma storm that he wants to check out in the Horse Head Nebula and she has a choice.

The Doctor hangs up his phone and in the next shot, Rose is in her room packing to go again. Her mother asks her not to go, but Rose decides to go anyway.

The Doctor has been making a boy wash off the graffiti he put on it. Mickey is wining in the street about how everything had changed and now everyone has forgotten what has happened.

The Doctor invites Mickey to go with them, but he says no. The Doctor also gives him a virus to put on line that will erase every mention of him.

Jackie comes to see her daughter off.  Rose asks Mickey to come with, but he doesn't want to.  The Doctor makes it look like he said Mickey couldn't go.

Jackie said that she is afraid that something terrible will happen to Rose and Rose tells her that she will see her mom in 10 seconds time.

Jackie and Mickey stand outside looking unsure as the Tardis groans and fades away.

They stand there for 10 seconds and walk away.

Okay.  There are some good things about this episode. The introduction of Harriet Jones is a bright spot even though I wish they could have given her a stronger episode. With how important she becomes in future episodes, I just wish she had a better intro.
The Doctor's performance is excellent and so is Rose's, but they're not given a lot to work with. The Slitheen are just annoying and the contrived military plot is very hard to sit through. Even while writing this blog entry I was tempted several times to just shut shut it off and stop the blog early just saying, "Sorry I couldn't watch it anymore."

Considering how packed with information the first episode was, this one is almost empty and unbelievable. How the series continued after these two episodes would be a mystery if the ones before and after weren't completely stellar.

I give this 2 parter a -5 out of 10 and I honestly wonder how it was actually produced. Does anyone know if the nephew of someone important wrote it or if the director lost a bet and they had to produce it? Who knows?

At least it gives me something to complain about.